An update is required.
I wait forever.
Okay, the above title is an exagerration, but let me explain. We are using a new version of the source control system in place at Kronos. (We switched to this new system—which is not a Kronos product—about six months ago, from VSS, which sometimes produced catastrophic problems, and was not living up to our needs). The latest release of this new product promised some highly beneficial new features, but, primarily because Kronos is pushing the product well beyond its typical implementation, there have been some â€œperformance issues.â€
After receiving a notice last week that performance was really slow, but the system was not locked up, instead of a whine, I posted back a quick Haiku. Haiku, at least as we learned it in high school, is Japanese poetry consisting of three lines of five, seven, and five syllables, respectively. There are variations on the definition, especially when working in English, but the format tends to produce poetry that appears to be deeply insightful at best, and pithy at worst.
I received quite a few compliments on the e-mail, but didnâ€™t realize how notorious Iâ€™d become until a co-worker who I do not believe Iâ€™ve ever even seen stopped me in the stairwell and asked, â€œYouâ€™re the guy who wrote that Haiku, arenâ€™t you?â€
Here are a few of the other comments:
- This is most masterful.
- Thanks Doug. This helps make the pain of [the source control product] more bearable.
- Very nice!
- This is great. (-:
Iâ€™m sure you've seen all those â€œerror message haikuâ€ that have been circulating for years. Some of them are very funny as well. My favorite was:
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
â€œMy Novelâ€ not found.
- Congratulations tovarisch Doug Wilcox: you are now awarded the â€œUdarnik of the Monthâ€ title. Now write more haikus â€œsverx planaâ€ before the end of October. (â€œsverx planaâ€ means something like â€œabove the required quotaâ€).
- Excellent haiku of the day. Thank you!
Jboss starting up,
Machine useless for all tasks.
Gaze at screen saver.
To which I responded:
JBoss now better;
Standards can be pleasant:
One Gig of RAM.
OK, that one made my cat wake up when I laughed!
So am I popular, or notorious?