“We acted badly, badly, until they brought us God’s carvings. Then, seeing His carvings and following His good trail, now we live happily and in peace.”
Erik DiVietro IS Jack Ryan
Erik DiVietro posted this via his MySpace page. As I hate MySpace, and loved this, he gave me permission to cross-post it here.
Erik treated one of those inane e-mail surveys as if he were Jack Ryan, the protagonist in most of Tom Clancy’s novels. (Also, I should note that, just like Erik, I’ve read all of Clancy’s novels. Clancy peaked with The Sum of All Fears—avoid the movie, though—and really hasn’t done remotely as well since.)
I completed this entire survey as Jack Ryan, of the Tom Clancy novels. It is disturbing that I retain this much information about a fictional character, and more so that I do it about MANY fictional characters.
1. If you were to kill a man, horror movie style, which kitchen utensil would you use?
Horror movie style, eh? That’s a tough one. I had an Ayatollah killed by sending in the B-2 bomber with a bunker buster.2. Did you ever swallow a coin?
No, but I did buy a helicopter once.3. What was the worst gift you’ve ever received?
That moron Tom Clancy ruined my legacy by writing Teeth of the Tiger4. What is your most embarrassing childhood memory?
That my father almost arrested John Clark5. How many kids do you want?
I have four. For some reason, every time my wife and I slept together in another country or in a time of international crisis, she got pregnant again.6. What’s your moms middle name?
She didn’t have one, but her maiden name was Burke7. Have you ever operated a fire extinguisher?
In ways the manufacturer never contemplated.8. What did you eat for breakfast?
I skip breakfast a lot, and Kathy is always getting on my case about it.9. who do you hate?
Used to communists, then the Japanese and then the Asian-financed terrorists. Oh, and bureaucrats. MAN do I hate them!10. what do you hope to have accomplished by the end of this year?
When you’re Jack Ryan – there is nothing left to do. I made millions on the stock market; I wrote books; I was a Marine; I’ve been head of the CIA, Vice-President and President. SHOOT…I single-handedly brought peace to Jerusalem. I stole an entire ballistic missile submarine from the Russians AND forced the head of the GRU to defect! There’s nothing I haven’t done.11. do you have any reallllly crazy relatives?
Apparently, I have two twin psychotic nephews. My daughter is a little strange as well.12. Did you ever wake up under the influence of NyQuil, completely unable to move?
I was addicted to painkillers after I almost broke my back, and had a drinking problem that forced me out of government service for awhile.13. Are you feeling nostalgic right now?
I’m a former president of the USA, of course.14. Did you own a Lite-Brite?
My grandkids do; but it is nothing compared to the NSA command center.15. Can you dive?
In a wetsuit? No. I’m a terrible swimmer; but I did operate the dive planes of the Red October under Captain Marco Ramius16. Do you own a mouthpiece for anything?
Not really.18. Have you ever used a pogo stick?
Is that anything like a 9MM handgun? Or explosives?19. Who was the most creative bum you’ve ever met, trying to get some money from you?
Probably Ed Kealty.20. What’s your favorite Jelly Belly jelly bean flavor?
Can of INTERNATIONAL WHOOPIN’. That’s a flavor, right?21. favorite food you CRAVE?
I love my wife’s cooking. Of course, every time she makes a special meal, people seem to try to kill us.22. When was the last time you pulled lint out of your bellybutton?
What do I look like? A democrat?23. Did you ever use someone else’s toothbrush?
There was this crisis where the president thought the Russians were launching nukes at us, but it turned out to be a BIG misunderstanding. But I stayed up for like 3 weeks without sleeping, so I probably did.24. Do you REALLY floss everyday?
Of course. I’m a Georgetown alumnus.25. what is your favorite cologne/perfume you always wear?
Cologne is for men who haven’t killed Irish terrorists with their own hands.26. If you were on Double Dare, would you take the physical challenge?
Look. I’ve been dropped from helicopters onto submarines in storms; I’ve been shot at by drug czars; and I was there when a crazy Japanese pilot flew a 747 into the Capitol building. My wife and I survived nuclear blasts AND two different version of the Ebola virus. You got nothing on me.27. What’s the largest living organism that you killed?
Shoot. I’ve killed so many things. Probably my father-in-law’s ego.28. Did you ever take a lighting bug and smear its guts on your arm so you get a cool glowing effect like war paint?
Who writes these stupid questions?29. What’s the best toy you’ve ever gotten in a McDonalds happy meal?
an armored limousine Hot Wheel30. if you could be anywhere in the world doing anything right now what would it be?
Back in the Oval Office, ordering Clark and Ding to take care of people.31. Can you juggle?
HELLO! Fearless leader of the free world here!32. how do you feel right now?
nostalgic, see 13 above.33. Do you remember that square candy bar called “Chunky”?
I do. Ate many a Chunky bar out of the CIA vending machines.34. Predict the length of the next Peter Jackson movie.
Longer than Bear and the Dragon felt but somewhat shorter than Executive Orders actually was.35. What was your favorite toy as a kid?
G.I. Joes.36. Are you willing to go the distance?
That’s one heck of a question to ask me. How many of you have even TRIED to read all my books?37. Did you answer question 17?
How could I? It was stolen by Arab terrorists bent on bringing down the free world through Internet hacking.
The Jerks Always Win
… was the text message I received recently from a heartbroken friend. I am not at liberty to share the details behind this, but emotional abuse figured significantly in the story that was summed up by that statement.
For several years, I have informally studied the short- and long-term effects of sexual abuse. I have read over a dozen books on the topic, attended trials and hearings, evaluated cases in the media, communicated with subject matter experts, and supported and interviewed survivors. The bottom line is, as Anna Salter wrote, “Child sexual abuse was like getting bitten by a rattlesnake: Some kids recovered completely, and some didn’t, but it wasn’t good for anybody.”
On the whole—unlike 20 years ago—our society is beginning to “get it” in regard to sexual abuse. Popular knowledge is now cognizant of the need to expose its occurrences, protect its survivors, and punish and forever monitor the offenders.
Sadly, the balance still favors the offender. Most are never caught; even those who are prosecuted often reach that stage only after permanently damaging numerous innocents. The jerks always win.
But there is another type of abuse, typically (but not exclusively) perpetrated by males against females, that we often gloss over: Verbal and emotional abuse.
There was a lot I did not understand about sexual abuse, due to my own ignorance—I could not fathom, for example, why Celie did not simply run away to escape her abusive husband when I read The Color Purple ages ago. Of course, now I know that her sexual abuse as a child played a large part in this, and that certain types of abusive behavior will nearly always produce certain types of behavioral results, such as remaining with or returning to the abuser. Whether this can be explained rationally is irrelevant; the causative facts remain both evident and consistent.
There is a lot I do not understand about verbal or emotional abuse. Why would one continually mistreat a woman with whom he shares a social or even romantic connection? Why would anyone continually belittle her accomplishments, describe her as worthless or stupid, scream profanities at her, become angry at her without provocation, or limit her financial and personal freedom?
Why take something beautiful and damage it, making it less valuable?
Why tarnish God’s most beautiful and intricate creation, rather than polishing it for all the world to see?
We’d like to think this happens only in our underclasses, but that is hardly the case. One account conveyed to me by a friend was of a woman who was a published biological research scientist, with a doctorate. This didn’t protect her from her boyfriend whose constant belittlement convinced her that she was of no value. This happens far more than we realize.
I confess, I simply do not understand verbal or emotional abuse. I absolutely cannot understand why someone would mistreat any woman, especially one entrusted into one’s care. I know what the advice is to those in an abusive situation: “Get out immediately”; but few will be able to heed that. I often wonder why women seem to be so predictably malleable under such abuse, but perhaps this is why the Apostle Peter referred to wives as “the weaker vessel,” and commanded husbands to honor them and be understanding.
I see that I need to improve my knowledge deficit, just as I studied sexual abuse.
In the mean time, I’m going to keep polishing.
A Wedding Like No Other
Or, “A Match Made Where?”
Way back in October, Nichelle and I traveled to Florida for my brother Paul’s wedding. There’s much I could say here, like how Paul had to wear makeup after opening the truck door into his forehead, or how they “accidentally” played the Imperial March as they walked down the aisle together at the end of the ceremony.
Why Can’t Things Like This Happen to Me?
Week of a Million Smiles
Well, we’re back from vacation and what an amazing and wonderful time we all had.
To start off the vacation was Mom’s wedding. What a lovely couple Mom and Dad make! They are truly in love and so very sweet together. (Pictures taken by our “official” Wedding photographer Mike Matheson are available here.)
We spent a few days with Mom, Dad and family before heading to Orlando, where the Hinxmans arranged for us to stay at a borrowed apartment. They also are tireless park-attenders, and took us around Disney World and Sea World on a six-day sprint.
NaNi tells Cinderella a story about a ball she plans to attend.
What an amazing time, jammed packed and loads of fun. So much to share, too late now to do it, but you can check out the pics in the Picasa album. We have loads to share so check back in a day or two.
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Isaac and David pose with Stormtroopers at the last of MGM’s “Star Wars Weekends.”
Whose Sin? (John 9:1–7) The Necessity of Historical Context
I have several friends who love to study the history of the Bible, and who strongly believe that it’s vital to know all we can about the cultures we read about. I am inclined to agree. (One of these friends keeps stacks of Alfred Edersheim’s Sketches of Jewish Social Life to give away to interested fellow believers—and to kill mice.)
A few days ago, I was listening to a passage I’ve read scores of times in my lifetime, but this time I noticed something that I had completely overlooked:
1As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. 2And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. 4We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. 5As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”
6Having said these things, he spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man’s eyes with the mud 7and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing. (John 9:1–7, ESV)
Notice the disciples’ question: “Whose sin was it that this caused this man to be born blind? Was it his or his parents’?”
The part that made me do a double-take was the question about whether it was the man’s own sin for which he was being punished. How can anyone sin before he or she is born?
Now, this gets fascinating. Just from the context of the passage, one can infer that some people (the disciples among them) believed God would punish the sins of parents by causing problems with the children. We can also infer that people believed God would punish a person’s sins directly. In both cases, such punishment could extend to causing physical disability. Another inference—perhaps the most unusual one to us—is that one could be born into a condition of punishment for his own sins.
The text also refutes an idea or two. One false idea, sadly believed by many who claim to follow the Bible today, was that all illness or disability is caused by God as punishment for sin, or, alternatively, by the oppression of Satan. Jesus clearly refutes the former case in his answer to the disciples.
What else can we directly infer from this passage alone? Not much.
How could someone who is not yet born sin? Did he commit some sin in utero?
What light does Scripture shed on these beliefs? The Old Testament talks about divine retribution, even such being passed on to the children of those God is punishing. So, we can see in Scripture the concept of the man being punished for his parents’ sins. (I merely mention the existence of this topic; much further elaboration would be required to address its applicability to a case such as this.) However, nowhere in Scripture do we see the idea of someone being punished for personal sins committed before birth. Was God being preemptive, punishing the man with blindness for something the man would later do?
Ultimately, Scripture does not answer the question about how someone could be born into a condition of punishment for his own wrongdoings. Here we must look to the historical context of the passage.
Albert Barnes’ Notes on the Bible, in this case apparently referencing the work of J.B. Lightfoot, summarizes the historical context of the disciples’ questions quite nicely:
It was a universal opinion among the Jews that calamities of all kinds were the effects of sin. See the notes at Luke 13:1-4. The case, however, of this man was that of one that was blind from his birth, and it was a question which the disciples could not determine whether it was his fault or that of his parents. Many of the Jews, as it appears from their writings (see Lightfoot), believed in the doctrine of the transmigration of souls; or that the soul of a man, in consequence of sin, might be compelled to pass into other bodies, and be punished there. They also believed that an infant might sin before it was born (see Lightfoot), and that consequently this blindness might have come upon the child as a consequence of that. It was also a doctrine with many that the crime of the parent might be the cause of deformity in the child, particularly the violation of the command in Leviticus 20:18.
So, from the larger body of Scripture, the local context of this passage, and some educated guesses, one might derive a number of correct conclusions about what relatively common beliefs were for the subject at hand; but, without examining other historical writings, one could never derive all the possibilities of what was believed—especially the possibility of the transmigration of souls, which is not at all referenced in Scripture.
Despite the fact that our churches extol the study of Scripture in its literal, historical, grammatical context, few believers are taught how to do such historical research, or even have the basic resources to know where to begin. This is compounded by the pseudoscholarly works that abound, produced by both modern skeptics who are willing to ignore history and unscholarly believers who equally ignorant of history—archeology seems to be especially problematic. (One of my favorites is the conclusion that pi is exactly three because it is rounded to that in 1 Kings 7:23.) Sadder still are the many pastors and teachers who believe that no cultural illumination is needed for events that occurred two to six thousand years ago. Although we certainly might be able to derive most of our doctrine sola scriptura, historical, cultural, and even archaeological study sheds light on so much that makes the Bible real.
I’ll conclude with one thought from Pastor Erik DiVietro, from his post about the contextual meaning of “the gates of hell”:
If anything, I think pastors should study history instead of theology. They should be immersed in the worlds (notice the plural) of the Bible and not in the systematic teachings of theologians who probably never cracked a history book except to get a random source for something they already believed. Knowing the languages and cultures in which the Scriptures emerged isn’t just a nice thing—it is a necessary thing. Otherwise, we are no better than the Medieval church that twisted the Biblical narratives to their own schemes.
Miscellany from Diane Sawyer
The May, 2007, issues of Reader’s Digest included an excellent interview with Diane Sawyer. Other than knowing she had something to do with television news, I wasn’t very familiar with her, but found a few of her comments quite noteworthy.
Quotations are from “News Flash: In the sound bite world of TV news, Diane Sawyer brings substance to the story,” by Sara Davidson, in Reader’s Digest, May 2007.
Regarding her marriage at age 42 (they have been married about 20 years now) to director Mike Nichols:
The first year, I thought surely we would fight. I would take a stand, and he’d say, Well, you’re always fair, and I know you love me, so I have to consider the possibility that you’re right.
That was actually my favorite quotation. Isn’t it wonderful?
Q: Are you concerned about the direction that broadcast news is going?
A: I think we all are. But I don’t feel that we have a responsibility to scold everybody for what they watch. We want to pretend we only watch the grass growing on the global warming channel, but a car chase comes up and I’m right there with the next person.”
…
Q: Do you ever feel guilty that you can fly in an out of bad situations, leaving behind people stuck struggling with so little?
A: Of course. Every single time. When you get on a plane and have clean water, it’s already a privilege, considering what a lot of the rest of the world is dealing with.
…
Q: Did North Korea feel like the nightmare that George Orwell wrote about in 1984, with Big Brother controlling everything?
A: It’s hard to believe that in this day of Internet access, there is a country in which kids studying to be scientists have no idea what Google is. You have passionate students of culture and politics who have no prospect of leaving the country.
National Chicken Cooking Consolation
We had an absolutely wonderful time, meeting new people and enjoying Southern hospitality (which is not overrated). The best thing was, for the duration of the trip, my gorgeous wife, Nichelle, was treated by everyone exactly the way I have always seen her—as a star.
Nichelle and I are working on a post about the trip, and we have numerous pictures to upload. Y’all will just need to be patient.
Although Nichelle didn’t win at the 47th National Chicken Cooking Contest, all the contestants were rewarded with many gifts.
Here’s what we took home:
- 47th NCCC apron
- 47th NCCC large collapsible cooler (which doubled as luggage for our trip back)
- 47th NCCC silver bowl, engraved with Nichelle’s name and state
- Four 47th NCCC cookbooks (we ordered more)
- Cutco cutting board
- Cutco Kitchen Classics knife set
- Cutco Super Shears
- Tables of Content, a beautiful cookbook produced by the Birmingham Junior League
- Red Diamond tea bags
- Red Diamond coffee
- $50 check for spending money
- Several coffee mugs (Hey, kids, look what we brought you!—NaNi can’t wait to bring hers to my office for coffee.)
- Numerous packages of flavored pecans (those didn’t last very long)
- Moore’s Marinade sauces—original and buffalo wing
- Canned pear halves, from the Pacific Northwest
- 47th NCCC recipe poster
- Red sash with our lovely state’s name (Come on, you know this is cool.)
I just noticed that Nichelle’s recipe has been published at the Chicken Cooking Contest site.
Nichelle Then and Now: Unbelievable!
Most of you are aware that Nichelle has been healthy since early last summer, after two years of severe pain and a long list of inexplicable symptoms (and a decade of similar, albeit less severe, problems).
In addition to being the mom she’s always wanted to be, being selected from New Hampshire to compete in the National Chicken Cook-Off (which will happen in only 1.5 weeks!), and being a constant testimony to the grace of God in her life, Nichelle has been eating healthily, doing Tae-Bo (nearly every day), and weight training (4 days/week). Take a look at the results:
For more images of this amazing transformation, check out this Picasa Web Album!