John Is Leaving

John turned 18 last Thursday. He celebrated this by launching a covert attempt to move out of the house. (Why it was covert is beyond me. He has every legal right to live where he wants; whether he was ready to do so, or whether this was in his best interests, is an entirely different question.) We did allow him to stay with his sister in Brockton for the past week, partly because we believed a break would do us all good.

Yesterday we phoned John at his sister’s house. We’ve talked to Felicia a number of times this week, but this is the first time we called to speak to John. We wanted to find out what sort of John would be returning today. We were hoping to see reflection and perhaps even repentance. Instead John told us he would be returning today to get the rest of his things. (This was one of the possibilities we were prepared for.)

When we asked where he was going, he wouldn’t tell us. He said he’d tell us eventually.

We told the kids. David cried for a long time. He is so loyal and so loving.

From last fall to late winter, John was all that we’d hoped he would become. His grades were quite good; he was clearly working hard in school, and had a part-time job in an accounting office. His attitude was excellent. He was helpful at home, and even managed to get along well with Isaac and David. For the first time in years, he behaved like one of the family, and it really felt that he was finally “home.” It was absolutely wonderful! I was so proud of him, and relished being able to brag about his achievements. We don’t know what precipitated the change, but all that disappeared, to our sorrow, by the early spring. Of late, especially the past few weeks, he has intentionally (as he admitted to our assistant pastor) been attempting to foment strife at home in the hope he could use that as an excuse to leave, not generating the level of discord he sought, but making life less-than-pleasant for all of us.

It appears John plans to live in Brockton, paying some rent, with someone he knows; perhaps a [biological] family member. He said “might have a job,” and that he intends to attend a vocational school in the fall.

I truly hope he succeeds.

12 Replies to “John Is Leaving”

  1. A blessing that has been brought to my attention throughout this ordeal……young David shows so many Christ-like qualities….He is so tender and forgiving…


  2. I will uphold him in my prayers! You all know what I have been going through (and I do mean “through” because there will be an “end”). Love to you all.

  3. Don’t fret over this Doug. You and Nichelle gave John your best. You were instrumental in spiritual seeds being planted in his life. Remember what God’s word say’s regarding this, His word will not return void. John has to experience life on his own now. He is a young adult and likewise subject to answer to God for his own life, especially now that he has chosen to live outside your home. You and Nichelle did everything within your ability to provide a loving home for John. You treated him like he was your own.Many of us witnessed the love you both showed John. He may have to go through a season of drought before he is able to realize what it is that God has for his life. We’ll continue to pray with you for him. God has a plan for John’s life, just like he did for you and I. My prayer is that John don’t have to go through years of trial and tribulation to figure out that so many love him, espicially God.


  4. Doug and Nichelle,

    How did I miss this? Has your BLOG email announcements not been working? I stumbled across this by perusing your BLOG.

    I’m so so sorry. I’ll definitely keep all of you in prayer.

    Romans 8:28

    with love,


  5. HI. im doing well. dont fret over my do you people know what is best for still going to church and i will be going to a technical school gettin a certificate as an electrician. but thanx for your prayers. my sister is watching out for me and i will be down their soon too visit.

  6. John won’t be going to a technical school. Southeastern Regional is accepting only 9th or 10th grade students.

    He is supposed to be starting a pretty good job with a newspaper printer in Taunton.

    A number of you have asked for his address. He refuses to give it out, for reasons I cannot quite comprehend, but we’ll share it if we ever get it. I’ll encode his new e-mail address and link to it sometime in the next couple of days.

  7. You both have raised an amazing son. i have never met a man so caring and loving in my life he is one great friend. He cares for everyone.He really care about everones feeling. He is amazing and i know how much he really did the best you could and you did a great job. You are great people, but its up to him now. He will walk with god. i have faith that he will make the right choices in life.John honestly is a good kid. You both should be proud of him. i will keep your family in my prayers along with every one eles

    ps. your baby girl(who is not really a baby any more is beautiful) john showed me your site so i could see pics of is beautiful sister.. congrads

    pps. used to live next to you kind of when you lived in Ma.

  8. For those of you who are following John’s saga, it may interest you to know that he has now gone into reruns.

    In a nearly identical episode to what we experienced in July, he told his sister Felicia that he was moving out of her house while he was in the process of carrying his TV out.

    He is now living with his older brother Edwin, still in Brockton.

    I wonder what Tara thinks now.

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