How Adam-12 Ruined My Squeaky-Clean Reputation

Courtesy of Netflix streaming over our Xbox 360, my son David (primarily) and I have been enjoying watching Adam-12, the police television series that started the year I was born, and ran for seven years thereafter, and much longer in syndication. Adam-12 was one of my favorite televisions programs when I was a kid, and I remain impressed by its lasting quality, straightforward, honest characters, and clear moral implications. (Director Jack Webb, of Dragnet fame, was clearly not an “everybody’s-doing-it” kind of guy, even in the ’60s.)

Officers Pete Malloy (Martin Milner) and Jim Reed (Kent McCord) from the Adam-12 television series.
Officers Pete Malloy (Martin Milner) and Jim Reed (Kent McCord) from the Adam-12 television series.

In 1978, I was in Mrs. Lovell’s third grade class at Parkview Elementary School, in Easton, Massachusetts.

One day we were reviewing vocabulary with a small reading group after a multiple-choice exercise. The vocabulary word in discussion was heroine, and, among the possible definitions was a medicine.

When the correct answer was given by another student, I suggested, a medicine, getting me quite a troubled look from Mrs. Lovell, who then asked, “Do any of you know what he is referring to?” “Drugs,” answered Dennis, with an implication of disgust.

I’d never heard the female version of hero, but Adam-12 had provided me with an excellent education in the dangers of illegal drug use. In my eight-year-old mind, heroin was a drug, and one obtained medicines at the drugstore, so a drug such as heroin perhaps could be classified as a medicine.

I was too embarrassed by the reactions of my teacher and peers to explain this logic, and the incident eventually became eclipsed by even worse incidents of faux pas that we shall consign to the horrible depths of “the junior high years.”

Adam-12 photograph courtesy of http://www.kentmccord.com.

Merrimack High School’s Award-Winning Star Wars Parody

We were at Merrimack High School this morning for a meeting regarding some testing Isaac had done over the past couple of weeks. It was just after morning announcements, and as we went to our meeting, the music from Star Wars could be heard coming from every room.

I caught enough of the description playing with an apparent news report to later learn that Merrimack High School had worked with New Hampshire-based filmmaker Jeff Capone to produce a Star Wars parody entitled Star Sports, that won for the Best Parody in the Fan Movie Challenge presented by Lucasfilm and Atom at this year’s San Diego Comic-Con International.

Star Sports – Theatrical Trailer

Non-Predictions for 2010:

Here are my non-predictions for 2010 (things that are guaranteed not to occur this year):

(1) Popular musicians will realize that Auto-Tune is a waste of time, and rather than sounding “cool,” they sound depressingly similar to every other Reggae-imitating popular musician on the planet. Complex harmonies and skill will mark a new breed of popular musicians.

(2) Political and religious debate, regardless of the slant or extremes of one’s viewpoints, will be thoughtfully and factually engaged in. Conspiracy theorists will look at the hard facts and science, and admit that they were completely wrong about everything from Obama’s birth location to the moon landings to 100,000-mile motor oil.

(3) Everyone filing taxes will check the box on his or her IRS return that reads, “Check here to donate $1 to the Presidential campaign fund.”

(4) Hillary Clinton will apologize for being unjustifiably rude to the student at whom she lashed out in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Rush Limbaugh will admit he is disgustingly pompous and makes conservatives look terrible. Jessie Jackson will promise he will never run for political office or try to get a peace treaty signed in the Middle East.

(5) Congress and the Senate will refuse to allocate pork into any legislation, and will account for every line of every regulation passed, determining to do what is right for the country as a whole.

(6) Peter Ruckman will unequivocally recommend the ESV for adults, and the NLT for younger children.

(7) Hollywood will create films, rather than remake them.

(8) The American legal system will espouse justice; the guilty will be appropriately punished, and the innocent freed. Nuisance and other patently ridiculous lawsuits or compensation claims will be declined by every lawyer who is presented with one, regardless of the fee offered or potential winnings.

(9) NASA will be given more money than the combined budgets of the film industry.

(10) Palestine will be given an independent state; in return, the Palestinian Authority will effectively police its own charges, and terrorist attacks on Israel will cease.

(11) Apple will slash prices on all its products, and open its operating system to run on virtually any computer. Steve Jobs will announce, “Yes, our products are good, but you people are stupid to pay so much for them.”

(12) Massachusetts drivers will become polite and demure.

(13) Soccer will replace American football as the most popular American sport, as millions of American football fans realize that watching an hour of commercials and another hour of people walking around doing nothing is not nearly as exciting as a real game in which the clock never stops.

(14) Sports fans will no longer claim participation in, nor credit for, their favorite teams’ victories. (“We” will not win or lose.)

(15) Americans will stop whining, and realize just how fabulous a country we have. Further, they will universally take an active part in its politics, and realize that political and community participation and individual responsibility should occur far before and in far greater degree than complaining.

(16) StarCraft II will be released. (Just kidding … I think.)

Science: Why My Wife Thinks I’m an Idiot

The Telegraph, reported a few days ago on research published in the Journal of Experimental and Social Psychology that proves exactly why my wife thinks I’m an idiot:

[R]esearch shows men who spend even a few minutes in the company of an attractive woman perform less well in tests designed to measure brain function than those who chat to someone they do not find attractive.

Nichelle (right) and I (left) on a recent date.
Nichelle (right) and I (left) on a recent date.

We can all picture in our heads the caricature of the stammering young man whose failed attempts at communicating intelligently actively destroy him in the eyes of the beauty he is trying to impress.

As it turns out, it actually happens. Researchers at Radboud University in The Netherlands experimentally supported the idea that cognitive function drops in males inversely proportional to how attractive they find the female with which they are interacting. They “carried out the study after one of them was so struck on impressing an attractive woman he had never met before, that he could not remember his address when she asked him where he lived.”

Clearly, my normally-well-functioning brain is doomed when faced with the overwhelming beauty of my fabulously stunning wife, Nichelle. I don’t have a chance of impressing her, and come off looking like a moron!

And now the research proves it.

(Thanks to Nichole DiVietro for pointing out which “Disney Couple” Nichelle and I most resemble.)

My Little Personal Trainer

NaNi often makes sure that I stick to my diet, “No cheating, Dad,” and helps encourage me when exercising. (Nichelle sets the diet and the overall schedule; you should consider using her if you need a very reasonably priced personal fitness trainer.)

Last night NaNi rode her bike with me while I ran two miles, as she often does.

NaNi - My Little Personal Trainer
NaNi - My Little Personal Trainer

Everyone really enjoyed seeing her out riding, with me running along right behind her. I got comments like, “She’ll make sure you keep your speed up,” and everyone we passed greeted us with big grins.

On the final block of the two miles, I sprinted ahead of her. As I passed her, she called out, “Now, that’s what I like to see!”

What a kid.

NaNi the Droll

A couple of days ago, Naomi said, “Dad, I made this for you!”

Naomi's whimsical airplane drawing.
Naomi’s “Whimsical” Drawing—Click to see full detail.

Inspired by Hook, Naomi drew people parachuting from a burning airplane. Guess who doesn’t have a parachute? (I love the little frown face she put on me.)

That’s one sarcastic kid we’re raising.

School Fashion: Look What Kids Are Wearing These Days

This is “spirit week” at the Academy for Science and Design, where Isaac attends. Today’s theme was, “Famous People.” He relished the opportunity to develop, with Nichelle’s help, this slightly disturbing costume.

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Can you believe what kids are wearing to school these days?

A magic trick? Well, let me show you, I’ll make this pencil disappear!

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Isaac as “The Joker,” complete with prosthetic makeup.


Turns out Isaac’s costume was voted best for the day!